Is that even possible? It certainly is a challenge… for me!
For over a year, I have had a note card with red lettering on it spelling – NO OPINION, taped to the border of my computer screen. I needed, and still need, this reminder in my line of vision.
Not an easy exercise
When I learned to respond with a question rather than an answer, my opinion, my interactions took a very interesting, productive, and positive course.
I discovered people really want to feel important. People really do want to be heard.
I see you
I love the greeting of the Zulu, Sawubona, meaning, “I see you.”
Sawubona: All my attention is with you. I see you and I allow myself to discover your needs, to see your fears, to identify your mistakes and accept them. I accept you for what you are and you are part of me.
This is what we want – to be seen, to be acknowledged.
So when I thought of this exercise of having no opinion, I convinced myself I was going to have to practice silence, which is not an easy task for this YELLOW!
I had to face it
Giving my opinion, even when asked, is purely egotistical. Unless I am an expert on the subject, I have much to learn.
Really, the only subject upon which I can speak with any expertise, and sometimes the jury is still out on that, is myself. I am happy to share about my experiences, but to be asked what I think, I am happy to have the opportunity to respond with a question I heard so often from my wonderful mentors.
What do you think?
No, I do not need to take a vow of silence. I engage by loving, giving and encouraging. Doing otherwise would be contrary to the Law of Compensation, an eye opening essay by Emerson.
‘All things are double, one against another… love for love. Give and it shall be given you. He that watereth shall be watered himself… If you put a chain around the neck of a slave, the other end fastens itself around your own.’
To me, the chain is my opinion and it asphyxiates me.
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into you lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:37-38
What goes around comes around. No need for me to be silent.
I need to humbly love, listen, and learn.
To change my mind is to change my life.